Dear Mothers, From Your Village
Hello to all the remarkable Single Mothers in the blog land of Coffee & Jesus.
Whether you're a new mom, a seasoned pro, a foster, adopted, or in whatever capacity of a role of a single mother you play, whether with one child or many, it is the most rewarding job, and you are honored for that. It’s a 24/7 job for us. We're never closed… Even when we are asleep, we are open, and there’s a no-return policy, so we have to love them unconditionally.
As a single mom, our task is undoubtingly challenging without at-home support to share the responsibilities, financial burdens, and, more importantly, the emotional challenges we go through. We often have a sense of loneliness and depression. Be encouraged. There is good news. The benefits outweigh the challenges.
I recall when my son was younger, I would pick out his clothes, but now, he’s grown, and mummy’s choices are no longer trending. He is 16 years old now, and at times, I would get a “Hey, Mom, what do you think about this outfit.” It makes me smile to know he still values my opinion…so I smile and respond quickly.
Another benefit had the opportunity to teach him how to drive, of course from a woman’s perspective (ladies, we are the ones that are good with directions.. Amen :). Now he’s driving me, my little personal chauffeur…Now it’s not always a smooth ride, but we get through it. Those benefits let me know that my dedication does not go unnoticed because he cherishes the memories you create together.
Proverbs 31:25-28 (NIV) - She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also and he praises her.
We are the embodiment of selflessness and sacrifice. Our devotion to our children is unmatched, with an unwavering love for being that single glue that holds our family together. Continue to pray and engage in every milestone because you are their guiding light.
I want to encourage you to continue to pray, pray, pray, and engage in every milestone, triumph, defeat, temper tantrum, heartbreak, and joyfulness [why] because it’s our nature to give so much of our time, energy, and sleeplessness. Can I get an Amen on the sleep ladies! We sacrifice so much to make sure our children are happy and healthy. We are their protector, they're confidant, and our love knows no boundaries.
In all, you are appreciated for inspiring them every day. Importantly, God has given them to us as a gift, so let’s give them back to Him as a wonderful present that would impact the world for His Kingdom. I truly believe God has a special place in his heart for single moms. Yes, you may have said, God is special to us all…. In Isaiah 41:10, it reads. “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and help you and uphold you with my righteous right hand.” “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.”
Three of my most fierce single moms in the bible are Naomi, who is first mentioned in the Book of Ruth (Ruth 1:1-5). Who was married to her late husband, Elimelech. She lived in Judea with her husband and two sons before having to move to Moab due to a famine. While they were in Moab, Naomi’s husband died, and her sons married two women, one of which was Ruth. Thereafter some time passed, both of her sons died, and she decided to return to her homeland, and we know how the story ends.
Then the widow at Zarephath as described in 1 Kings 17:7-24. She had an encounter with the Prophet Elijah when she was gathering sticks with her son. Elijah enters the town of Zarephath and asks this widow for a piece of bread. She obliged and invited Elijah into her home and used the last bit of her resources to make bread for him. Elijah blesses the widow and her son for their generosity towards him and assures her that she will not run out of supplies.
Lastly, the story of Hagar comes from Genesis 16; 21:1-21, who was a servant to Abraham and Sarah. Sarah could not bear children, so she made Hagar to be intimate with Abraham and became pregnant with his first-born son, Ishmael. Hagar began to despise Sarah. Then Sarah told Abraham he was the cause of the wrong she was suffering and professed the Lord to judge both of them. Sarah began to mistreat Hagar, so she fled from her. While in the wilderness, the angel of the Lord found Hagar near a spring in the desert; and asked Hagar where was she coming from and where was she going.
Now I’m sure an angel of the Lord knew the answer. I think this was more about origin and destiny. Single mothers have a deeper understanding of suffering when faced with a wilderness situation. Our sacrifice is unsurpassed to no other. The angel of the Lord told her to go back and submit to Sarah, and her descendants would increase so much that they would be too numerous to count.
Speaking to our children’s destiny is prevalent. I wondered what would have happened if Hagar began to speak and think negatively of her masters. She would have probably forfeited hers and the child’s destiny. Single mothers DO NOT speak ill or negative about their fathers to them nor categorize them in a negative likeness of him as well. I know it may be difficult especially during times of struggles or high emotions. After all, remembering there was a time or another there was love and intimacy that caused both of you to create your child(ren). Speak words of affirmation and not defamation.
Washington Irving said― A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”
I leave you with this. Remember you are developing little characters, then personality that would one day become someone’s else spouse. So be kind to the creations of God to not replicate what we may displease. In all, you are appreciated for inspiring them every day. Importantly, God has given them to us as a gift, so let’s give them back to Him as a wonderful present that would impact the world for His Kingdom. Single moms when we cry out when faced with adversities of how we are going to pay the next bill or put food on the table or cloth our babies; God sees, hears, and comforts us. More amazingly, providing a ram in the bus, parting our red sea, or defeating our giants. I am a testament to this statement time and time again.
God is faithful.
Written by: Carline Bido
