Catch Me If You Can Pt.2

Another aspect of the spectrum, single women are treating their boyfriends as if he is their husband. Perhaps, it’s you who wants to see him as your future husband and that's why you've already given him husband responsibilities. A man does not ask you for this. His question should be “would you be my wife and not the other way around. So, if he still acts detached, you should not be upset because this is your doing.  At times, single women have this preconceived notion during dating to think the two of you belong together, you push him, try to mold him into the person you want him to be and make him think that he is the right husband for you. You should not think that because if it’s God’s desire and purpose… You would know!

 I get it, why you're maybe so focused on getting married because you want to be taken off the dating market, the idea of marriage gives you a feeling of safety, the idea that somebody will always be there to protect and provide for you but the right way to get there is to go through God’s compatibility test. The other thing single women do wrong is that you are already giving the wife treatment by cooking, cleaning, and the most communal problem is that when you give of yourself so easily.  A single woman should be a woman of wisdom, knowledge, honorable, principled, righteous. and yes, the one characteristic that is so touchy... remaining celibate. I am going there, yes rated x for explanation…

 Giving up your treasured cookies, vajayjay, pounannie, honey pot, fanny pack, or whatever it may be called in your neck of the woods.). Thinking or wishing that it would seal the deal.  It seals the deal alright, you’ve soul tied with the various ungodly entities you give permission to inhabit the temple of the Holy Spirit, your body.

 Your precious asset that should remain as a treasure for which your mate should be the sole benefactor.  In doing so, there's no challenge for him to pursue. a woman is often overlooked or not given enough attention to their intellectual abilities and achievements. Gloomily, in today’s culture, a woman is portrayed as a sensual symbol in ads, social media etc., leaving less and less to the imagination.  Pursuing a partner should never be the case whereas you do not compromise your self-worth or values. Instead, it's about God’s way or no way and respecting of yourself…. akin to the dynamic between the FBI agent and the con artist in "Catch Me If You Can.

 Ultimately, the decision to keep or not to keep one's virginity is a personal one with a deep personal relationship with God. In short, His word is referred to us as the oneness of holiness (Ephesians 4:1-6, John 17:21) By no means, am I being judgmental, but simply putting it into context that Jesus affirmed that sex should only be the enjoyment in the institution of marriage only by one man and one woman (Genesis 1:27) and that it is meant to last for a lifetime (Genesis 2:24).  Jesus considered sexual immorality to stem from the heart. (Mark 7:21-23, Matthew 15:19). In Matthew 5:8, it says, Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. The first thing we learn from this beatitude is that Jesus is concerned with our heart. It is not enough to clean up our act on the outside, more so on the inside as well.  I know ladies, I do empathize with you, however, keeping our hearts pure and focusing on Him, we can avoid such pitfalls.

 On a side note, which erodes the exemplary of some mothers role/teachings, in dressing provocatively may be viewed as contrary to the principles of modesty and purity. Timothy 2:9-10, Women are to dress modestly & should focus on making themselves attractive by the good things they do.

However, it's important to note the different that of a Christian or Non-Christian in dressing provocatively, especially in front of one's daughter or similarly of your daughter, can be seen as inconsistent with Christian values as modesty in clothing as a way to respect one's body, avoid temptation, maintain purity and self-respect. Dressing provocatively does not align with the values God wants for parents to instill in their children, as it can be seen as prioritizing worldly appearances over spiritual values. As Christian parents, we are encouraged to avoid situations that may lead to temptation or sin.

Proverbs 22:6 (NIV). Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it [teaching him or her to seek God's wisdom and will for their abilities and talents]. It should not be understood as a promise that Christian children will make good decisions their entire life. No, it should be understood as a warning. If parents don't discipline their children in a wise way, then their kids are going to make foolish choices and continue to do so when they grow up. Parents are considered stewards of their children's moral and spiritual development. How a mother dresses can influence her daughter's understanding of modesty, purity, and Christian values

 Let’s draw the line whereas we invoke our spiritual understanding to differentiate the distinction of that of a mother versus a daughter (child). Seemingly, the same as a father versus a son.  Let’s change this narrative and teach our daughters how precious they are and how they should preserve themselves in a manner that is conducive and pleasing unto God for their mate. Adding, young men as well. 

 Here is where it is important that I avoid generalizing about any group of individuals, including single moms, and to refrain from passing judgment on their behavior or clothing choices.  Ultimately, the key is for a Christian mother to align her choices of attire with her own understanding of Christian values, keeping in mind her responsibility as a parent to guide and instruct her child in accordance with their faith and belief.   I will end this part with this! The mandate of Titus 2:3-5 is that older women are to disciple younger women, teaching them how to grow in godliness in their distinct relationships and calling. Some, if not all of the principles of discipleship embedded should always be reflected in our kids. 

 As a single mother, with a teen son, and from the time he was conceived to date; I pray for his mate that God has purposed for him. Adding now, he’s at an age of understanding, I am consistently conversing with him about his role and duties as a Godly young man on how he should conduct himself towards manhood.  How he should respect himself, women, and others. Whenever, he leaves to go somewhere in my absence, I always tell him, “honey DBSTG”… Don’t Bring Shame to God…. It’s our code word without repeating the instilled lectures or cautionary wordings. Within those acronyms, there are a lot of conversations of the do’s and don’ts of God’s way versus man’s way and what repercussions or consequences they breed.

 Single women, if you are pursuing a man, it should not be on your priority list or any list for that matter. Your relationship should be rooted and grounded in that you are hidden so deep in God that your future mate has to search so deep in God to ask Him permission in order to find you. You are to revere yourself as a precious stone, such as pearl, diamond and ruby which are not easily found in plain sight, not the real ones.  They are typically found deep within the earth's crust and must be mined or from the depths of the ocean through various processes before they can be found.  Upon discovery and process to transfer of ownership; these stones are given a certificate from a reputable entity that provides details about their characteristics and quality.  These stones in their natural form without human intervention are relatively rare and can be quite valuable. Cultured with the assistance of humans, are more commonly found in the market, and come in a wide range of qualities and prices. Regardless of their origin, these stones are celebrated but when put through the right test, which ones do you think will stand to their timeless beauty and elegance? So! Who will you allow to put you through the test to produce your certificate of reputable authenticity and how would you be discovered, or do you prefer to expose you….Yourself!!

Writer: Carline J. Bido