All my life, I have known God, grew up in a Christian home, attended a Christian school, and attended church. Growing up, I never took God seriously. I prayed and worshiped, but it felt empty. I heard and saw amazing things He did for others around me. I dreamed and saw the enemy, but I was never all in. I never truly gave my life to Christ, and that made a significant impact on my life. Now that I am older, I see now.

At 16, I met the love of my life during a youth service by a friend I went to school with; they are cousins. The next day, we were in math class, and he talked about a dream he had a while back of watching a girl with long dark brown hair walk down the aisle and married to his cousin. Instantly I knew that was me, and sometime later, Alex, my now husband, started dating. Dream after dream, God told me this man was who He Had for me. But two months into our relationship Alex left me.

It was a dark seven months, questioning God, angry at Him for telling me this was the man, yet he left. But the Lord had His own path I needed to take, and almost a year later, we started talking again. He proposed a year later on my birthday in 2010, and we married the following year.

Still, not taking God seriously. We had our first daughter just before our first anniversary, my husband joined the Air Force, and we moved away. For four years, God was not at the center of our marriage, and it was unbearable. I always knew He was there, But I chose to ignore Him.

We had to move again; this time around, we managed to find a church and started attending. We began to put God in the center, and our marriage was slowly mending. I began to find my way back to God but did not give all of me to Him. About a year after we moved, Alex and I decided to try for our second child. We were both excited and knew it was going to take some time.

Month after month, every test was negative, and week after week, we both became more discouraged that it would not happen. It was just over a year and nothing. Then June 6, 2018, I saw a positive test. Alex and I were thrilled to find out we were finally expecting.

Our lives changed just before 10 weeks, and we lost our child. I never wanted to experience this, but throughout the process, I noticed that all I wanted to do was rely on God for comfort. I believe God had finally got my attention. This was a critical turning point in my life and my walk with God. I knew my unborn child had played a crucial role in finding my way to knowing who God is, and my walk with Him was finally becoming clear.

I realized I never questioned God as to why we lost our child, and I think it's because I knew that the call on my baby's life, no matter how short it was, was to bring me back to Him. I started to seek God more with prayer and reading the Word. I stopped listening to secular music altogether, and I slowly began noticing a change in me. I talked differently and dealt with issues and situations differently too. My love for my husband had changed, and our marriage became Christ-centered.

I joined a small group at church and attended a bible study. My spiritual eyes were beginning to open again, dreaming again, seeing the enemy again. With every step I took in my faith, the enemy was behind me, trying to destroy my faith.

I grew more in my faith. It felt like a whirlwind, like God was preparing me quickly for something. Coming to 2019, the bible study I was attending was changing. There was a sense of urgency. I felt we were being prepared for something. Then the pieces started to fit together, and I saw why I felt like I was moving so fast; He was preparing me for ministry. Jars of Clay women's Ministry was birthed, and in March 2020, our ministry came forth. All that preparation was for this. It was to prepare me for what God has called over me.

I know he had called me to speak, teach, and sing. With His guidance, I will finish my degree in ministry leadership with a worship emphasis in hopes of becoming a music pastor.